Tips and info on adoption and fingerprints

I have been writing about fingerprints and adoption. Adoptive parents are fingerprinted during the adoption process to do a background check and ensure that the parents are "suitable" to adopt. Most domestic adoptions now require that parents are fingerprinted, and all international adoptions require that parents are fingerprinted.

Some good news regarding the I600A and fingerprints is that things have recently gotten a little bit easier and a good amount cheaper for parents who have long adoption processes. It used to be that your USCIS fingerprints expired after 15 months, and your I600A approval, or the I171H, expired after 18 months. If you did not file your I600 (which is right before your child comes home) before those time frames, you had to redo your fingerprints and I600A (and repay the fees).

USCIS is now giving adoptive families one free renewal or extension of their I600A approval. If you're I600A has been approved and you have not been able to file an I600 because your adoption has not yet been completed within the 18 month time frame, you can send a written request to the USCIS office that you filed your I600A at and request an extension. The request must be received no earlier than 90 days before the expiration of the I600A approval, however it must be received before the approval actually expires. You should include a copy of your original approval and the expiration date of both the approval and your fingerprints.

You will not need to send in another $80 per person to have the fingerprints redone as part of this free extension. You will receive a new fingerprint appointment letter as you did the first time around. Please note that if your adoption is not completed within 18 months of the first approval extension, you will have to repay the application and fingerprinting fees.

For all adoptive parents getting fingerprinted, here are a few tips:

- Always bring the USCIS fingerprinting letter that you receive in the mail (one per person needing to be fingerprinted) if you are adopting internationally. If you are adopting domestically, bring any paperwork your agency has given you.

- Always bring at least one form of photo ID when you are being fingerprinted.

- Take care of your hands when it is getting close to your fingerprint time. Any cuts or other marks on your fingers that interfere with your prints can cause for you to have to have them redone at a later time, which will delay your adoption process.

- Get some Corn Husker's Lotion. If your hands are dry, the prints will not show up well and can cause for you to have to come back in and have them redone at another time. I use lots of lotion on my hands, and my hands were still dry for our last fingerprinting appointment. Many fingerprinting centers have Corn Husker's Lotion on hand if your hands are dry, but if your hands are very dry, they may send you home and ask you to use something on them for a few weeks and then come try again. I have heard it recommended that if you have dry hands, apply Corn Husker's lotion right before bed and then put on some gloves for a few nights before your fingerprinting appointment.

- Keep track of when you were fingerprinted for your records.

- Remember that you will have to have these fingerprints redone for each adoption. The prints are not saved in the system and so if you adopt more than once, you will have to be fingerprinted each time.

Adoption Blogs.com

Can Half The Sky Carry The Olympic Torch in Beijing?

Alex's Notes: This would be awesome. China-Babies is supporting this 100%.

Make sure you go to this link and vote if you want them to be able to carry the torch: China Daily
I want to run for the children of China.

Mother to two girls adopted from Chinese welfare institutions, in 1998 I founded Half the Sky Foundation, in order to enrich the lives and enhance the prospects of orphaned children in China. 2008 is our 10th anniversary!

My family moved to Beijing in 2004 to be closer to the work that has become the passion of our lives. Half the Sky (www.halfthesky.org) offers its four nurture and enrichment programs to children living in 36 orphanages across China. We have served close to 15,000 infants, toddlers, young children and teens.

This year, as part of China’s Blue Sky Plan, Half the Sky was invited by the Ministry of Civil Affairs to introduce its life-changing programs to welfare institutions in every province in China. We are so honored!

If I were selected to carry the torch, I would run with the children—8 lovely children from our programs in 8 different provinces. What an amazing experience that would be for them!

Judging solves nothing

Alex's Notes: It always amazes me to see the self riteous judging of others without knowing the facts or understanding the circumstances. This entire 'International Adoption is Bad" movement blows my mind, for exactly the reasons this poster stated.

Nothing in the world is perfect, especially something designed by humans, and my wife and I are in the exact same situation, if domestic adoption were a better alternative than adopting through the extremely efficient Chinese Adoption system, we would have adopted domestically.

Once again, the ancient words apply, maybe we should pull that gigantic plank out of our own eye and fix our own country before we start pointing fingers. It only makes us look like idiots for judging.

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Public Forum Letter
Article Last Updated: 09/29/2007 12:33:01 PM MDT


My family recently adopted a baby girl from China, and she is the most amazing little sister I could have ever imagined.
However, lately it has been brought to my attention by several individuals I know that some consider it inappropriate for Americans to adopt babies from other countries. The personal attacks that both I and my parents have faced on this issue have been appalling. I think it should be understandable to anyone that a child's life is important regardless of where it was born.
That statement is, I'll admit, not the only reason behind us adopting. My family wanted another baby, and quite frankly, China's adoption program is more stable than America's. If international adoption is offensive to some American citizens, then I say look at the problems with the American system and work to fix them. Don't decide not to act and then think you have the right to judge my family for loving an innocent little girl. If you request change, you must work for it. Judging solves nothing.

Elise Grongstad
Salt Lake City

Fuling SWI - Orphanage Visit

Alex's Notes: Cool peek into a day of someone visiting China
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We arranged for a car and a driver to take us to Fuling today for our revisit with the Fuling Social Welfare Institute. That's the orphanage where Rachael spent the first year of her life. Back on October 28, 2003, we made our first trip to the orphanage just two days after we adopted Rachael. Today was a lot more relaxed, so we were able to enjoy and absorb more both on the ride there and while visiting. We enjoyed the ride, for the scenery was very pretty. There are many small mountain peaks and tunnels through the mountains. It took us about 1 hour 45 minutes to get there. We arrived around lunch time, but our visit wasn't scheduled until 2:30. So, we stopped at a department store where I can assure you we attracted a small audience in the restroom as I was changing Catherine's diaper. One older woman asked Joyce why Catherine still wore diapers since they are so uncomfortable. Another woman had followed us to the bathroom, stood behind Joyce and watched us the whole time. She then walked out and stood behind Randy and Rachael, waiting for us to come out of the bathroom. An interesting cultural difference here to note is how people will ask personal questions very easily. They will ask Joyce things about our family all the time. Are the girls adopted? Are they Chinese citizens? How old am I? Is my husband Chinese? I think they ask because they believe "Wo ting bu dong." (I don't understand their Chinese.) They just don't see many people from other cultures, especially with Chinese children.

After we left the department store, we had lunch at a hotel very close to the orphanage. We arrived at the orphanage at 2:30 where we met both the Director, who is a woman and the Vice Director, a man. We worked with Vice Director Chen when we visited in 2003, and we had some photos to share with both of them from our first visit. We talked with them about our first visit, using Joyce as our translator. As a small token of our thanks, we gave each of them gifts, and we took gifts for 3 older children who are living at the orphanage. At the end of our visit, we had a chance to meet one of the older children. This was a girl, about 6 or 7 years old. She will be adopted by an American family next month! We toured part of the orphanage and met one of the nannies who worked when Rachael was a baby. In fact, we had photos of this same nanny holding Rachael from 4 years ago, and we shared the photos with her. We took new photos of them together! Then we spent over an hour in a room with over 20 babies aged 4 months through one year. They were all playing on a mat or on riding toys or taking baths. We sat with the nannies and held them, wanting to take them home with us. There were 2 boys in the group, and the rest were girls. As usual, the room was very warm, and the babies were bundled up. Suffice it to say that the babies were all absolutely beautiful! What a wonderful way to spend the day. Even though Rachael and Catherine became a bit bored, Randy, Joyce and I were totally enjoying ourselves. Each child was so unique and precious. Some were afraid of us because they did not know us. Others came to us easily. There are about 260 children in the orphanage at this time. When Rachael was living there, the number was near 400!

We are so grateful that we had the chance to visit for the entire afternoon. We stayed until 5:30 PM. Before we left, we took family photos with the Directors, and they took some, too. They were very open to having us visit again, but the orphanage will be moving to a new location in the next year or so. So, we aren't sure how much longer this part of Rachael's past will remain. Today was certainly a rewarding day.

Tomorrow is Catherine's third birthday. Wow!

Love to all,
Charlene

Family Blogs From China

Monday-Thursday....sorry for the delay

Thursday 9/27
Jason just posted pics....we have not had a minute to breathe since arriving on the island and I am now sick. The White Swan has a 24 hour clinic on the 3rd floor so I saw a doctor this morning and he prescribed me an antibiotic, antihistamine, nose spray, and cough syrup. I asked repeatedly for acupuncture and chinese medicine and he insisted that I needed an antibiotic and Western medicine....I thought that was very funny.

We just received word from our guide that the US consulate approved our paperwork.

As you can see from the pic of Hui Hui screaming in the street she is continues to be a handful. Our friend Kathy in Wuhan witnessed Hui Hui's poor behavior first hand and contacted the Wuhan orphanage on our behalf. We were concerned that maybe she had some additional mental health issues. To our relief she is not mentally ill but rather just has terribly bad behavior.

The orphanage confirmed that her foster family set no limits, boundaries or restrictions on her for 3.5 years!!!! AGH!!!!

Jason and I have thought we were going to lose our minds.
Hui Hui was also not sent to school or taught to speak other than to use yes or no responses to questions. Apparently, the orphanage staff also witnessed the extreme tantrums for nothing other than not getting her way....and oh is it exhausting!

We also know by the way she eats and her size she was pacified with food....again not really helpful for us. The one food she eats regularly which has been a surprise to us is milk (un-refriderated kind) and drinkable yogurt. She does ask for these by name when she wants them.

The White Swan hotel where we are staying is considered the adoption. Almost 400 rooms currently have adopting families occupying them. This was the 1st hotel is China to be rated 5 star but that was 25 years ago and it is now quite "worn". We were lead to believe it was really a great hotel....but I think that it is being compared to our hotel's in general because our hotel in Beijing and Wuhan were both nicer that this one.

However, I was excited to get my "adoption barbie doll". The White Swan has an arrangement with Mattel. Mattel creates a white Barbie with an asian baby just for the White Swan....every adopting family receives one.

The White Swan is closing for renovation....note for Laura Beth...they are now not closing until May 2008 to take advantage of one more Trade Fair. ...so you will probably stay here. Request at least a Junior Business suite or you will not all fit. The rooms with double beds have 2 single beds. The only reason we fit is that we requested 2 cribs and the girls are each sleeping in one. Well, to be perfectly honest....Hui Hui screams bloody murder for 1 hour until she passes out!

We wish we were coming home tomorrow but instead we are off to Chengdu to see the Pandas. I know this will be fun for Rou Rou.

We are so happy that Rou Rou found a friend at breakfast this morning. A little 5 year girl whose mom just adopted a baby. They live in Seattle WA. Rou Rou is in their room watching Barbie Princess movies and playing. We are so happy for her because this experience has really taken its toll on her.

Working backwards in my days....yesterday we had the "official medical appointment" The doctor was very sweet and really took to Rou Rou as you can see. Jason took pics of the 1950 like facility. We found the reflector on one of the doctors heads to be quite funny. Hui Hui was not as amused.

When we were at the medical with Rou Rou we felt like they were going to take her from us because of her medical condition but with Hui Hui they acted as if it was no big deal. The doctor did mention that he thought her ears had never been cleaned out and that it would need to be medically done in the states.


I took Rou Rou shopping while jason tried to tame the wild girl in our room. On a recommendation from Maria (hi Begeman family) I went to a store called Susans to get a jacket made...instead I ended having a dress made. I had brought one from the states (it was one I wore at my aufruf) and I wanted it in Chinese silk. As I mentioned to Jason if it turns out nice it will be the best $48 I ever spent and if not I then I wasted $48.

...a note to Maria...Susan loved the pictures and she says HI! She gave me her email for you. Jennifers only had the shoes in red but I am supposed to check back this evening.


I bought Hui Hui Chinese dresses in every size and Rou Rou picked out a very pretty purple one with butterflies. Rou Rou also really enjoyed dancing with Jennifers sister's daughter in the store while I shopped.


Last night we went on a river cruise ....very cheesy but Rou Rou really enjoyed the buildings all lit up along the river. The group from Harrah's out of Portland OR was with us in Wuhan and here in Guangzhou. Their tour guide is very good and very sweet....she invited us to join the group.

She also invited us to join the group Tuesday evening for Thai food. So we celebrated the Chinese Moon Holiday at a Thai restaurant in Guangzhou.

The food was again really good but nothing like Thai.

Ah....as I reflect....who could forget the flight from "h-ll". Yep....you heard me. Hui Hui does not like to sit down and she does not like to be buckled.
There are no seat belt or car seat laws here so children sit in the front seat and walk along the back seat of cars, buses, taxis etc. Hui Hui threw herself into a major fit and the flight attendants had to come help. We flew the oldest plane I have ever been on...the arm rests were broken and lying on the floor and the dirt, food, crud, germs were everywhere (Shezhen Air) but the attendants were the best I have ever experienced. I am sure this contributed to my illness....along with the 120 degree weather here in Guangzhou. My hair is so curly and frizzy and out of control that Rou Rou and Jason didn't even recognize me.

Our last day in Wuhan was bitter sweet. We needed to say goodbye to Kathy again.

Her and her son brought us dinner and brought Rou Rou the transformer dinosaur toy she liked so much. Kathy told us the next time we come to Wuhan she will have us to her home because she knows we will be friends forever. It was very sweet.

She also was able to get the Orphanage to release an unofficial medical report on Hui Hui. We received the fax today at the hotel. If I have not mentioned this before ...nothing in China is impossible but they may tell you "no" until they tell you "yes".

Jason ran out to the Carfour to buy another suitcase. We needed to do this when we adopted Rou Rou ....so I prepared for it and brought an extra suitcase but this one is with David in Beijing with all the books I purchased. We don't really have more things...but what we have has seemed to expand.

Guangzhou is the place for all the shopping for Chinese dresses....and other "typical" Chinese fare. While Jason and Hui Hui slept Rou Rou and I unched and shopped. She has really wanted a Calabash. A musical flute specifically made by and for one of the hundreds of minority groups in China. I can't recall which group at the moment.

Rou Rou has been asking for a flute since she heard a man in the street playing one the other night. They were surprised that Rou Rou had enough hot air to blow it.

Tonight we are having dinner with our agency representative in China this evening.

More later....

We are unsure of what our internet facilities will be in Chengdu and Xian....if you do not hear from us please assume we are ok, tired, and might not have internet.

Hugs- Shelli
Red Thread Story

Love Without Boundaries - Specials Needs Boy Joey

There is a beautiful seven year old boy in Guangdong province who is in need of his own mom and dad to love him. His medical need is that he was burned as a child, but he has not let that stop him from going to kindergarten, making lots of friends, and charming the socks off of everyone who meets him. Right in his adoption file it says that he can make a friend out of anyone in 30 minutes flat. This little boy only has a few days left before his file is due to go back to China.....unchosen. Isn't that a horrible word? Unchosen. It is hard to believe that any child would have to carry that label.

This particular little boy weighs heavy on my heart tonight for a reason I want to explain. You see....his orphanage first contacted us to see if we could help him medically with his burns. But as soon as we heard about how smart he was and how personable, we convinced the orphanage that his real hope was in being adopted. The orphanage wasn't sure. They didn't think anyone would want to adopt an older boy, and one with burns on his body. But we assured them that somewhere there was a family waiting for a little boy just like him. And so the orphanage agreed. But then the province was also unsure, and so we once again said, "we know there will be a family". Finally his file was sent up to Beijing and then on to a US adoption agency. And no family has yet been found.

I think it is important for me to interject a story here, and my apologies to my friend Lisa for not getting her permission first to tell it. I hope she will forgive me. When I was first getting started with my work in China, one of the orphanages we helped did not do many special needs adoptions. They didn't think that the kids would be chosen, and so many of the children were getting older and watching only the healthy babies leave for their new homes. They would hear the aunties say to the babies, "oh today is a lucky day....you will have a family to love you." And the preschoolers and older kids would think to themselves....'it must be wonderful to have a family pick you.'

Well, we were going to do a heart surgery for one little girl in this orphanage, and so I asked for a photo of her so that we could raise funds. This orphanage didn't have a lot of nice clothing, so for this special photograph they wanted the little girl to look nice. Another little girl in the orphanage, named Yan, who was just three years old, had been given a beautiful red coat by a volunteer, and she loved that red coat and wore it all the time. The aunties went and took off her red coat to put on the child with heart disease for her photo, and Yan burst into tears crying. The aunties scolded her and said, "Yan, you must share your red coat...don't be selfish", but Yan kept crying and crying and kept trying to climb over the gate to get out in the hallway where the photo was being taken. Finally one aunty had heard enough, and so she walked over to Yan to take her back into the room. As she got closer, she realized that Yan was NOT crying because the other little girl was wearing her coat. No, not at all. Yan was crying while saying over and over, "take MY picture...please take MY picture. I want a family....take my picture so I can have a family, too. "

You see, at the ripe old age of three, Yan had already learned that the only way a baby got a family was by having her picture taken first. And she wanted a family of her own so badly, that she was crying to her aunties to please take her photo, too.


I wanted to share this story because the reason I am so sad that Joey hasn't found a home yet doesn't have anything to do with the fact that we told his orphanage a family would be found, or that we told provincial that certainly there was a family for him. I am sad thinking about Joey because I know exactly what happened when they prepared his adoption file earlier this year. I have been in orphanages when they do the files, and each and every time the aunties try to make the kids look at cute as possible. They say things like, 'smile pretty so a family will pick you." I am sad when I think about Joey's file, because I know he had probably gotten used to the idea that there would not be a family coming for him because of his burns....and then we went and placed hope back into his heart. I am sure he knew exactly why the orphanage was taking his photos that day, and I am sure the staff told him to look as handsome and clever as possible so that a family would choose him. Tonight I am thinking about this handsome little boy who is probably wondering each day now if his photo was good enough for a family to choose him.


So far.....no one has.

If you know anyone who might be open to adding a little boy to their family, please let them know about Joey. More information about him can be found here: http://www.swa.net/children.php

I still want to believe that there is someone out there who is wanting a little boy to love and read stories to. Surely there is someone out there who would want to teach him to fish, show him how to hit a baseball, and who would let him ride on their shoulders feeling like he was the king of the world. Surely somewhere there is a family who can give Joey the unbelievable gift of knowing he is CHOSEN, so that he can finally be home where he belongs.

Love Without Boundaries Blog

What a lucky baby!

Alex's Notes: Ran across a blog entry with some great thoughts in it.
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September 26th, 2007
I’ve gotten over my shyness about sharing LG’s picture! I love showing off his perfect little face. I also love that it gives me yet another opportunity to gaze into those huge brown eyes…(sigh)

Pretty much everyone (Except for this one guy at work who was like “oh, yeah, uh huh.” Dude! WTF!) responds with the usual oohs and aahs. I get the usual questions, like: “When will you travel?” “How old is he?” “Is she from China?” I can usually respond with a fair degree of aplomb; I figure most people are just so taken aback that their initial responses will most likely lack the tact with which they should respond. (Did anybody understand that run-on sentence?) Overall, the majority of people have been excited and so happy for us, and I hate to complain, but I don’t like the whole “Oh, he’s such a lucky baby!” response.
I’ll admit, the first couple of times I heard this, I just let it slide. I figured they meant well, so no harm, no foul. However, yesterday I finally had the opportunity to share our wonderful news with my boss. She was totally psyched for us, and of course she thought LG was a-dor-a-ble! Yet, she still had to throw in the “lucky baby” line. This time I just replied, “Oh, no, I think we’re the lucky ones.” Keeping a big smile on face all the while (This is the woman that approves my work schedule!). I don’t want to get upset, or embarrass people, but I don’t want LG to someday be the recipient of the “you should be so grateful” line of crap.

Most people seem to have this completely skewed view of international adoption. (In my opinion, anyway) They just think that we (the adoptive parents) are saints, out there saving the world one tiny baby at a time. Ick. I get a little nauseous just thinking about it. Anyway, humanitarianism is about the furthest thing from my mind right now. In all honesty, I just want to rock that little bundle of goodness to sleep every night and kiss his tiny toes good morning each day! Yet, those folks outside of the adoption world still seem forget all of the not-so-lucky stuff adopted children go through and ignore the blatantly obvious fact that it is the adoptive parents that are the ones who are making out like bandits!

For the life of me, I can’t seem to figure out what is so lucky about being abandoned or relinquished then spending the beginning of my life in an orphanage only to be carried off to a completely strange place to live with people that do not remotely resemble me! And that is just the beginning. Internationally adopted children lose so much of themselves in the process of being adopted; it is so not lucky.

OK, so I’m beginning to rant a bit and that is not my intent. I wholeheartedly hope that LG one day comes to the conclusion that he has lived a great life, despite living far from his homeland. I just want him to decide this for himself; not because he has been told to for as long as he can remember. I guess for now, I’ll just have to stick with the “We’re the lucky ones!” reply in hopes that those around us will someday get it. Right?

Mindful Musings

Journey From a Chinese Orphanage to a Jewish Rite of Passage

James Estrin/The New York Times

Cecelia Nealon-Shapiro, adopted by New York parents 13 years ago, at her bat mitzvah reception last month.




By ANDY NEWMAN
Published: March 8, 2007
Correction Appended

Of the 613 laws in the Torah, the one that appears most often is the directive to welcome strangers. The girl once known as Fu Qian has been thinking about that a lot lately.

Fu Qian, renamed Cecelia Nealon-Shapiro at 3 months, was one of the first Chinese children — most of them girls — taken in by American families after China opened its doors to international adoption in the early 1990s. Now, at 13, she is one of the first to complete the rite of passage into Jewish womanhood known as bat mitzvah.

She will not be the last. Across the country, many Jewish girls like her will be studying their Torah portions, struggling to master the plaintive singsong of Hebrew liturgy and trying to decide whether to wear Ann Taylor or a traditional Chinese outfit to the after-party.

There are plenty of American Jews, of course, who do not “look Jewish.” And grappling with identity is something all adopted children do, not just Chinese Jews.

But seldom is the juxtaposition of homeland and new home, of faith and background, so stark. And nothing brings out the contrasts like a bat mitzvah, as formal a declaration of identity as any 13-year-old can be called upon to make. The contradictions show up in ways both playful — yin-and-yang yarmulkes, kiddush cups disguised as papier-mâché dragons, kosher lo mein and veal ribs at the buffet — and profound.

Yet for Cece, as everyone calls Cecelia, and for many of the girls like her, the odd thing about the whole experience is that it’s not much odder than it is for any 13-year-old.

“I knew that when I came to this age I was going to have to do it, so it was sort of natural,” she said a few days before the ceremony at Congregation Rodeph Sholom, a Reform synagogue on West 83rd Street where she has been a familiar face since her days in the Little Twos program. Besides, she said with a shrug, “Most of my Chinese friends are Jewish.”

As Zoe Kress, an adoptee in Mt. Laurel, N.J., said about her approaching bat mitzvah: “Being Chinese and Jewish is normal for me. Thinking about being Chinese and Jewish is a little strange.”

Olivia Rauss, a girl in Massachusetts who celebrated her bat mitzvah last fall on a day when the Jewish harvest festival of Sukkot coincided with the Chinese autumn moon festival, said she saw no tension between the two facets of her identity either.

“Judaism is a religion, Chinese is my heritage and somewhat my culture, and I’m looking at them in a different way,” she said. “I don’t feel like they conflict with each other at all.”

While no statistics are kept on the number of Chinese children adopted by Jewish families, over all, there were about 1,300 Chinese children adopted into American families from 1991 to 1994, another 17,000 in the second half of the ’90s, and 44,000 since then, according to the State Department.

Cece was born on Jan. 29, 1994, in Jiangxi Province in southeastern China. She was abandoned to an orphanage because of China’s one-child rule, and adopted by a lesbian couple, Mary Nealon and Vivian Shapiro. (The couple later adopted another Chinese girl, Gabie, now 5.) Cece has been drawing double-takes for a while, like when she used to ride on Ms. Shapiro’s lap on a packed crosstown bus and would burst into the Passover standard “Dayenu.”

Ms. Shapiro, an advertising buyer, was brought up by atheistic Jews; Ms. Nealon, a school nurse, was raised a Roman Catholic. But after they met, they were drawn to Judaism and decided to give Cece a relatively traditional upbringing.

“That was my hope when I started her in day school,” Ms. Nealon said, “that when she got up on the bimah” — the lectern where the bat mitzvah girl reads from the Torah — “she would feel like she had the right to be there.”

The countdown to the big day was the typical blur of lessons and studying, sit-downs with cantors and tutors, caterers and party planners. There was a thick dossier of Jewish history to master — history that Cece confessed did not feel like hers. “I just really try to learn it,” she said. “I don’t try to think of whose history it is.”

And, of course, there was shopping to be done.

“In my fantasy,” Ms. Nealon said, “we’d take her to Chinatown and have this incredibly beautiful Westernized Chinese dress made.”

But Ms. Shapiro said: “She wanted no part of it. For her, this has nothing to do with being Chinese.”

Cece set her cantor’s reading of her Torah portion to “repeat” on her iPod. She met with the head rabbi at Rodeph Sholom, Robert N. Levine, an affable, animated man with an office full of books and baseball memorabilia.

Rite of Passage “So, Cece,” Rabbi Levine said, “what do you connect to most about your Judaism?”

Cece had transformed into the archetypal opaque teenager.

“I think I like the holidays, and, um, yeah,” she said, looking down.

The rabbi asked her to recite for him. She did.

“I love it,” Rabbi Levine said. “You have a beautiful voice. Your Hebrew is perfect. The only thing I need you to do, Cece, is project. Just give me a ‘Baruch’ like you’re singing in the shower.”

“Baruch,” Cece said, a bit louder.

On Feb. 17, nearly 200 of Cece’s friends and relatives filed into the vast Romanesque sanctuary of Rodeph Sholom. A box of commemorative yarmulkes with the yin-and-yang pattern sat by the door. Six alumnae of Cece’s orphanage — they call themselves the Fu sisters — had flown in from all over the country.

To the side of the altar, on a red throne, sat Cece, resplendent in a long black patterned dress with a scoop neck.

Ms. Shapiro laid a prayer shawl over Cece’s shoulders, a symbolic transfer of power. Cece and the other bat mitzvah girl that day, Sadie Friedman, lifted their voices and let loose a Hebrew welcome song that Cece had sung with the synagogue choir from the time she was 7.

Rabbi Levine preached from the day’s reading: “ ‘Let the stranger in your midst be to you as the native, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.’ ”

Cece and Sadie approached the ark, the enclosure, flanked with marble columns and topped by carved lions, where the Torah scrolls are kept. The cantor, Rebecca Garfein, handed them the oversize scrolls, dressed in maroon and gold fabric. The girls held them like bagpipes.

Cece laid her scroll on the bimah and read in Hebrew, in a loud, clear voice, from Chapter 21 of Exodus, a compendium of commandments on the treatment of servants and slaves.

Then she moved to her English speech.

“This long journey to becoming a bat mitzvah today has provided me with so many ways of learning,” she said. “The part that will always stay closest to me is the importance of caring for strangers. Just like Jews were once strangers in the land of Egypt, we have all been, or will be strangers at some point in our lives.”

Cece finished, touched the fringe of her shawl to the Torah and kissed it. She returned to her throne and sat down, cheeks red, looking exhausted and relieved.

That night — the eve of the Chinese year of the pig, as fate would have it — Cece and her guests reconvened at the Faculty House at Columbia University. The outer room was set up like a casino, with Cece-backed playing cards and Cece-faced play money. Inside, the music throbbed, the D.J. yelled, the fog machine billowed. Cece and her friends traded their shoes for white socks and pogoed across the floor.

After dinner — kosher Chinese for the kids, steak for the adults — the D.J. cranked up “Hava Nagila.” Cece, in a chair in the middle of the dance floor, was lifted up, up, up until she bumped her head on the Chinese umbrellas hanging off the chandelier.

Then she was back on the floor, dancing with her mothers and little sister and singing along with the recording: “Hava neranena, venis’mecha,” or: Let us sing and be glad.

Baby Pic Fix Update

Just added two new galleries to the 'Baby Pic Fix' section.

The first is from a family recently feartured in our September Newsletter. You can see the gallery here: Alexander Family Gallery

The second is pictures of Madeline's Foster Mommy's Village.

You can see an index of all the galleries in the 'Baby Pic Fix' section here: Baby Pic Fix

The Latest Bad News From China

Trying to solve the Mystery
I have had enough people independently send me information that names the American agency in question that I do believe that this agency is getting referrals well before other agencies. Just to clarify, referrals come to this agency with the normal referral batches, but for LID’s ahead of everyone else.

I believe that the European agency with the December referral was just a fluke, I do not see a reason to believe that their early referrals were part of a pattern.

There is also word of a famous person in a European country who is in China adopting right now and they had a 2006 LID. However, they are apparently adopting a four year old so I’m wondering if perhaps they chose to go the SN route and that is why they are traveling now.

I also see no reason to believe that the CCAA is giving preferential treatment to those in their 30’s or those who are childless. For those who are misreading the CCAA’s site - read a bit farther down where it says “Article 8: The adopter may adopt one child only, male or female. Orphans, disabled children or abandoned infants and children, who are raised in the social welfare institutes, and whose biological parents can not be ascertained or found, may be adopted irrespective of the restrictions that the adopter shall be childless and adopt one child only.”

As to the “no way or we’d know about it” argument, it sounds as if the agency in question tells their clients from the very beginning to not go out on the internet or in real life and tell people their LID. And they are also to be discreet about things once they get their referral and once they are home. When they get their referral they do tell their friends and family but they don’t mention their LID. It is a smallish agency so we aren’t talking about a whole lot of referrals, either. The definition of small in the FAQ is “less than 25 per month”. I’m not going to define them further than that.

And, this has already been said but I’ll repeat it - there was another agency before the slowdown who said they got referrals early (and seemed to be a month ahead of other agencies) but it came out that this was just a result of the way they manipulated LID dates and not because of any favors from the CCAA.

In other words, where I’m at right now is that I think I can set aside all of the other reports of early referrals except for the ones from this one American agency. And I am now sure that this agency is getting referrals well before other agencies. Okay, so I’m sure of it. Now what?

I try to make all of my decisions as RQ as if I were still waiting. I know some have expressed a fear that this could be a huge scandal. I don’t really see it as being a scandal. If the CCAA were to be confronted with the information my guess is that they’d just stop doing it and neither confirm nor deny that it had happened in the past. This has nothing to do with impropriety where the babies are concerned, and it’s likely no one will care except for those waiting and the other agencies who are not getting this special favor.

So, again - do we do anything with the information? Do we just acknowledge that it is happening and sit on it? Do we accept that orderly lines aren’t really part of the culture in China and that this was probably a given that it happens? Or do we ask for fairness? I could successfully argue both sides of that one.

I’ve already received a few informed opinions and expect to receive more from people who I have personally asked for their input into the matter. But I’m interested in hearing how the rest of the adoption community feels about it as well.

Rumor Queen