China Babies Adoption Research

China Babies Adoption Research
China Babies Adoption Research

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Angelina Jolie, Meg Ryan, Mia Farrow, Madonna - All Adopt, all different stories

A quick chart showing who adopted from where and when, and some of the thoughts that went along with the process.

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Update from Carole & Keith in China

Alex's Notes: Just a daily blog entry from a couple in China. Provides great insight for those who are waiting to go over what it may be like for you.


We had a 3 hour layover in Beijing and then landed in Shenyang at 7:10. We went straight to our hotel with our guide. We had enough time to brush our teeth and get the gift for Carson in the bag and head downstairs to meet him.

He hugged us when instructed with a sheepish smile. While Keith signed temporary custody papers, I gave Carson the bag. He opened the lego car kit and wanted to put it together right away. We took pictures with all of the officials and then our guide left. We didn’t know that she wouldn’t be staying at our hotel so that was scary.

We headed up with Carson. I had forgotten to close the suitcase with all the toys and things to use over the next couple of weeks. He dove in and wanted to open everything. Note to those of you still to come: Do NOT bring anything you can’t put together! Carson kept telling Keith to put together the Lego car and me to do the transformer. We were hopelessly inept. For two hours this went on. I put on my pajamas and got into bed hoping this would help. Nope. I got back up.

He wasn’t interested in pajamas or toothbrushing. We didn’t fight it and let him sleep in what he was wearing. He has slept with the light on both nights so far. He didn’t want to change the next morning either. I remembered that at the orphanage they change every other day so again didn’t push it since we had to go to the civil affairs office and start paperwork.

Carson has been calling his foster mother frequently. We didn’t stop him in the beginning. Yesterday, after several calls, we said no more until the next day. He cried, yelled, knocked things over and acted like he was going to punch me. Keith quickly stopped him. He also kept trying to go out the window (12th story) or out the door. We piled suitcases in front of the door which didn’t help. He is very strong. Keith covered the door and I covered the window. We are exhausted. I finally let him call her and she didn’t answer. I think she knew it was him and is trying to help the calls slow down. He finally got through around 10:30, 2 hours after the grieving and anger began. She sounded harsh with him and he hung up on her and went straight to bed. He slept until this morning.

I was able to get his clothes off finally and get some others on him. We have not yet managed a shower or teeth brushing. That will be the battle for tonight. We drove about 4 hours today to Dalian. We did paperwork and came back to our hotel, the Ramada Inn. Carson is again trying to get through to his foster mother. I don’t know whether she is not answering purposely or not. When we visit the orphanage tomorrow, we will ask the director, Ms Pan, to talk with him about this. He is very violent in his actions and really doesn’t want much to do with me. Our guide and I think that he may be shunning me now as a way to remain loyal to his foster mother. I can live with that. He has been very sweet previously. He accidentally hit me with a bat the first morning and immediately was hugging me and telling me he loved me in Chinese. He has been a spontaneous hugger up until the calling problems.

He is picking up a few words, bathroom was the first. Might as well pick an important one! He can also count to 10 and is very proud. I watch him problem solve and thing he is clever. He also loves to read. We went to a bookstore and we walked out with several bags. He has kept himself very quiet through all of the govt paperwork by reading. He even carries it and reads as we walk along the street.

I believe this is going to get easier. It is exhausting for now and we are seriously struggling. Hopefully the visit to the orphanage and a talk with Ms. Pan will improve things.

Posted by Carole

Carson's China Trip Blog

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Making Friends All Over the Place

Alex's Notes: All I have to say about this authors response to his readers is:

Added 10/25 @ 8:48AM PST: Just to clarify something, I did not write the emails or the responses in this article below. This is simply a copy and paste of the authors responses to people who have contacted him that were a bit disgusted with the original article. We do not condone or promote any opinion on the matter, we are just relaying the news right now.


Heartless, disgusting, stupid and paid

October 23, 2007
Americans love their foreign-born orphans and hate me. Following is a small sample of the response to Sunday's column "Foreign orphans better than ours."

"That was the most heartless, disgusting article I have read in a long time."

Traci Carlson

It's not often a column of mine succeeds on so many levels.

"I have several friends that have tried and given up trying to adopt an American baby. Too much red tape and the birth mother seems to be always lurking around the corner with visitation rights or trying to get her baby back after she 'cleans up.'

Michael Tunney

Birth mothers lurking around street corners scare the heck out of me.

"I am an avid Southtown reader but was very disappointed by Sunday's article. ... As the mother of two Chinese-born daughters, your words came across as careless, flippant and hurtful and left me feeling disgusted on many levels. As my children keep me quite busy, I'll spare you my personal details of why I opted to 'go foreign.' I just would like you to know that my children are American (actually, I like to call them Chirish-American), and they are already productive citizens who will remain productive American citizens for their lifetime."

Erin Dryer

Chirish-Americans have an undeserved reputation for getting very high SAT scores while drunk.

"My family and I will be leaving this Thursday to meet and bring home our daughter from China. We have waited 21/2 years. We have paid a lot of money but not to 'buy' her. Most of the money has been spent on U.S. home studies, Department of Homeland Security background checks and fingerprinting (did you know in the U.S., fingerprints expire in one year?). We will thankfully and without reservation hand over $3,000 to the Chinese officials, which will go to the orphanage that provided her care for the first nine months of her life.


Everything's cheaper in China.

"Appalled! That is the only word I can use to describe this article. ... The author did not mention the risks associated with domestic adoption.

"He also does not consider that in some states, an adoptive parent can have that child removed up to six months after the adoption is final if one of the biological parents changes their mind.

"Instead of slamming parents that choose to adopt internationally, this author should slam the laws in this country..."

Lorraine Harbert

China obviously has better laws than the United States. Communism triumphs over democracy once again.

"My husband and I are not millionaires. In fact, we don't have much money at all. We just want to start a family, and the adoption process is the only way we can do that.

"We are adopting from China because that is where we feel God has led us. If you want to argue with Him, be my guest."

Vanessa Carroll

I do not argue with deities, although I would think conservative Christians would have enough clout to get Him to push American adoptions.

"Are you really that stupid? Do you know anything about the adoption process? I did not buy my child, and how dare you compare a child to a car. You an idiot."

William Mortimer

Yes. No. Cars are people, too. You grammar bad.

"Just to let you know, your article has been officially trashed by an international adoption blogger.

"My husband and I feel very strongly about adopting from the U.S. foster care system. We have adopted one child so far. Besides our desire to be parents, we wanted to improve life for at least one American child.

"As a citizen, taking care of my fellow Americans is a responsibility that's right up there with the right to vote and all that good stuff. It's just the right thing to do."

Fran Churchill

Yeah, well, what about all those mothers lurking on street corners?

"I'm speechless. Are you really that ignorant? Do people actually pay you to write such stupid stuff?"

Rina Speciale

I would never write such stupid stuff if I wasn't getting paid for it. I'm a capitalist.

"If we felt we were able to handle an older child, then there were plenty to pick from. Those that came with so much emotional and physical baggage that we just didn't feel we could do that to our other children."

Susan Mathews

Buying an older kid is like buying a used car. You don't know what you are getting, and their biological mothers are always lurking around the corner.

"For me the choice was simple. In China there is a one-child policy. Many Chinese decide not to keep their daughter in hopes of giving birth to a boy. A son many poor Chinese hope will take care of them in their senior years. China's fees are less expensive than many other countries. "


China sounds like it has everything about right.

Just a final point of clarification.

My column wasn't just about orphans, adoptions or China.

I was writing about America's general lack of care and education for its poorest, neediest children.

I believe babies born in this country should get every break possible, even if they get a bad break when they are born.

I guess that notion is so crazy it has almost no public support.

Phil Kadner can be reached at or (708) 633-6787.

Daily Southtown . com

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Monday, October 22, 2007

At the Orphanage

Alex's Notes: This post is from a gal named Valerie who is currently a teacher at Guiyang University. We are working on facilitating funding her requests. If you are interested in helping, please contact us @ alex @


Please Help.

A terrible way to start an overdue blog, I know, but it's, I think, the most important element of this update. I think there is a reason for everything, and if you're reading this blog, perhaps the reason is because you can help many beautiful, neglected children in Guiyang. In the last blog I mentioned that I found an orphanage in Longdongbao (my subdivision of Guiyang) and was trying to start a volunteer club of students to go and volunteer to teach there. In spite of the many difficulties I was told I would encounter, I had help from above and after many, many blessings leading up to this moment, today I was joined by 21 Guiyang University students to hold our first (of many) volunteer teaching session at the Longdongbao Gueryuan (Longdongbao Orphanage).

When translated from Chinese, our group's name is Spring Sunshine (it sounds much more pleasant in Chinese, I promise). It's remarkable how easy it was to start this; all I did (aside from pray a lot!!) was ask a few students if they would ever be interested in helping me start a volunteer organization to help out a local orphanage, and one of my students (his English name is Dustin) told me that he started a group last year called Spring Sunshine whose purpose was to volunteer to teach at impoverished schools in the countryside. The group had many members, but they didn't know how to find schools to participate in, and when they would find schools, didn't know how to afford to transport themselves to the schools (my school doesn't have a lot of money and my students definitely don't come from wealthy families), so their efforts were in vain and they never had an opportunity to volunteer. When I told him about the orphanage he was just as excited as I was, and last Saturday the two of us walked to the orphanage and met with the administration to get approval. Because Spring Sunshine is student run (AKA: run by Chinese, not a foreigner) they were very receptive, it was extremely easy to get approval, my university didn't give us any troubles, and therefore we are now in business! And, because it is student-run, it is sustainable for many years to come!

Today, at 8:40 am, 21 students and I paraded from our university to the orphanage (about a 35 minute walk) carrying a flag that (in Chinese) announced we are the Guiyang University Spring Sunshine Volunteers to Help Teach Local Children. We did this to raise awareness within the community. Orphanages in China are always located far away from the rest of society (this one is difficult to get to), orphans are completely neglected, and after a certain age (at this particular orphanage the age is 16) the orphans are sent to nursing homes where they spend the rest of their lives playing cards and mahjong (a Chinese game) with the elderly. Unfortunately, because of China's one-child policy, families devote all of their love to their only child, and consequently there isn't enough love to go around for the "alone child" orphans. We hope that by drawing attention to ourselves we can show the community that these children are lovable, helpable, and maybe draw more volunteers to love and help these children.

While there are certainly things that I cannot discuss online, let me do my best to describe today, the children, and the orphanage. Longdongbao Gueryuan (guer is the word for orphan…it literally means "alone child") is physically a decent place. There are basketball courts and a small playground and it's a rather large building. They even had two adult bikes that the small children can share (they cannot sit on the seat because the bikes are too big so instead they sit on the bars between the handlebars and seats). The children are of all different ages (there's a baby as well as a wing for severe and profound children that we did not see but that I have heard many things about from others and cannot discuss). We were met by 30-40 orphan children between the ages of 4-14. Most were girls, but there were also a handful of boys who had minor physical disabilities (birthmarks, hunchbacks, limps, etc.). Their clothes, perhaps from lack of funding, were very, very worn and none of them had socks on their feet in spite of the cold weather.

My students prepared performances for the children and performed their acts today (singing, dancing, kung fu, etc.) and then taught the performances to the children. The children loved it and smiled brightly. Some of my students bought the orphans a bunch of hair ties, candy, notebooks, pens/pencils and pencil sharpeners and gave them to the students as prizes, which was like giving them the world. The children were so grateful! The most moving part of today, though, was after the performances, where we sat around and chatted with the children, had them sit on our laps, played with their hair, etc. I spent most of the day with 5 girls who were between the ages of 11-14 who were so hungry for touch. They all wanted to sit on my lap, hold my hand, have their backs rubbed, etc. And it wasn't because I was a foreigner; it was because I was human. Every child that each of us encountered today was the same. The all clung to me or to my students, told us they loved us, and told us how lonely they were. One boy, who wouldn't say a word to anyone, sat in a corner and cried. I held him for a while until he stopped crying, but he just looked at me with sad eyes for a long time. One girl, a beautiful 11 year old who held my hand until the moment I left, kept saying "we are so lonely. Please don't leave."

How can you help? Any way you can think of, for one! For another, Spring Sunshine is asking for donations of children/baby books (low reading level!), toys, and baby-children's clothes, teaching resources, etc.. This is so needed, more so than I am allowed to discuss, and it is also tax-deductible. You can send these items to my address (available upon request), and if you have any other ideas please don't hesitate to yell them out!! Spring Sunshine is all ears and we want to help these children as much as possible.

On behalf of all my students, I have been asked to add a "Xiexie!" (thank you!) from them all! :)

As always, wo hen ai heiyou hen xiang nimen!


Valflynn Blog

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