What a lucky baby!

Alex's Notes: Ran across a blog entry with some great thoughts in it.
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September 26th, 2007
I’ve gotten over my shyness about sharing LG’s picture! I love showing off his perfect little face. I also love that it gives me yet another opportunity to gaze into those huge brown eyes…(sigh)

Pretty much everyone (Except for this one guy at work who was like “oh, yeah, uh huh.” Dude! WTF!) responds with the usual oohs and aahs. I get the usual questions, like: “When will you travel?” “How old is he?” “Is she from China?” I can usually respond with a fair degree of aplomb; I figure most people are just so taken aback that their initial responses will most likely lack the tact with which they should respond. (Did anybody understand that run-on sentence?) Overall, the majority of people have been excited and so happy for us, and I hate to complain, but I don’t like the whole “Oh, he’s such a lucky baby!” response.
I’ll admit, the first couple of times I heard this, I just let it slide. I figured they meant well, so no harm, no foul. However, yesterday I finally had the opportunity to share our wonderful news with my boss. She was totally psyched for us, and of course she thought LG was a-dor-a-ble! Yet, she still had to throw in the “lucky baby” line. This time I just replied, “Oh, no, I think we’re the lucky ones.” Keeping a big smile on face all the while (This is the woman that approves my work schedule!). I don’t want to get upset, or embarrass people, but I don’t want LG to someday be the recipient of the “you should be so grateful” line of crap.

Most people seem to have this completely skewed view of international adoption. (In my opinion, anyway) They just think that we (the adoptive parents) are saints, out there saving the world one tiny baby at a time. Ick. I get a little nauseous just thinking about it. Anyway, humanitarianism is about the furthest thing from my mind right now. In all honesty, I just want to rock that little bundle of goodness to sleep every night and kiss his tiny toes good morning each day! Yet, those folks outside of the adoption world still seem forget all of the not-so-lucky stuff adopted children go through and ignore the blatantly obvious fact that it is the adoptive parents that are the ones who are making out like bandits!

For the life of me, I can’t seem to figure out what is so lucky about being abandoned or relinquished then spending the beginning of my life in an orphanage only to be carried off to a completely strange place to live with people that do not remotely resemble me! And that is just the beginning. Internationally adopted children lose so much of themselves in the process of being adopted; it is so not lucky.

OK, so I’m beginning to rant a bit and that is not my intent. I wholeheartedly hope that LG one day comes to the conclusion that he has lived a great life, despite living far from his homeland. I just want him to decide this for himself; not because he has been told to for as long as he can remember. I guess for now, I’ll just have to stick with the “We’re the lucky ones!” reply in hopes that those around us will someday get it. Right?

Mindful Musings