China Babies Adoption Research

China Babies Adoption Research
China Babies Adoption Research

Friday, October 05, 2007

Pair adopts child as an act of faith


A long road ends in happiness

By GRACIE BONDS STAPLES
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Published on: 10/07/07

Their years together were forever changing, but their dream never changed.

For 12 years, it was constant, rooted, like many of the couple's aspirations, in Scripture.





For Bill and Amanda Burke, their yearning to adopt a child was in keeping with James 1:27: "Pure and undefiled religion before God is this: to care for orphans."

At Cornerstone Church of Christ, where the Lawrenceville couple are members, it has become part of the mission.

In all, 21 couples at Cornerstone, a small congregation of 270 adults, have adopted 25 children. Some, like the Burkes, already had children of their own. That didn't matter. Many of them adopted from China, the No. 1 source of foreign-born children adopted by Americans.

The church's passion is stoked by the pastor's wife, Sue Mathis, who became a heartfelt advocate after she and her husband adopted a Chinese child of their own.

The Burkes didn't know when or how they'd proceed. They just knew God put it in their hearts to adopt a child.

"We felt we were meant to do this," Amanda Burke said, "but it just seemed like it wasn't going to happen."

After nearly 10 years of marriage, the Burkes believed they had been abundantly blessed. They had a three-bedroom home, two children and promising careers. Bill was pastor of a small nondenominational congregation in Tennessee, and Amanda headed the women's ministry.

But in 1995, just as they decided the time was right to adopt, the couple moved to Lawrenceville and went from leading a church to being a part of the staff. Amanda discovered she was pregnant for a third time. Then, Bill was hospitalized with blood clots in his lungs. For many reasons, including financial, Bill decided to leave the ministry and become an insurance broker. Amanda became a teacher in the Gwinnett County schools.

A change of circumstance

Then last year, after another decade had passed and as life seemed to be settling down, Amanda's father died, leaving the family "a nice inheritance."

Even then, the Burkes weren't sure. Bill was approaching 50. Their three children — Carter, Hannah and Abby — were 16, 14 and 11, respectively.

"Then it just sort of dawned on us: 'Why can't we do it?' " Amanda recalled. "We had the money."

That was in July 2006. The next month, the Burkes went to Hope for Children, a Christian nonprofit adoption agency in Atlanta, and began the process.

It was then, Amanda recently recalled, that their prayer changed: "God, show us which child was meant to be in our family."

Weeks later, Hope for Children called. There was a 3-year-old boy waiting to be adopted — in Jiangxi province, China.

Amanda Burke logged onto the adoption agency's Web site. "He was adorable," she said.

Hong Zi Hua had been abandoned at the door of a hospital when he was 4 days old, then shuttled to an orphanage before being sent to a foster home.

The Burkes got the toddler's health records and asked their pediatrician to look them over. The boy checked out. The Burkes remained a little apprehensive but forged ahead, "confident God put this little boy in our path," Amanda said.

More than a dozen fellow worshippers at Cornerstone had opted for a foreign adoption, which is generally less complicated than domestic because birth parents are not involved and the match is made by a government agency.

Adoption has become a church mission championed by Sue Mathis, the pastor's wife. After having two children of their own, the couple adopted a Chinese girl they named Julia four years ago.

"I became an advocate for adoption," Mathis said. "It's so near to God's heart that he says he places the lonely in families."

Mathis began calling families interested in adoption, answering questions and telling them her family's story. A few months later, Hope for Children hired her as a part-time adoption advocate.

With the help of a couple of other families, Mathis instituted Third Fridays, a support group for families who've adopted or are in the process of adopting.

Mathis said that while their adoption went off without a hitch, not every family has it that easy. Some adoptions can take 2 1/2 years.

"I wanted to prepare families for challenges, even for the waiting process," she said. "I wanted to have a group of people to offer them support, who could say, 'We've been through this,' and to hopefully influence other families to want to adopt also."

Lovely and naughty

Hong Zi Hua had a ready smile and got along well with others, according to records his foster parents kept, and he loved to imitate singers he saw on television by rolling up paper like a microphone and singing into it. They described him as "a lovely, naughty little boy."

"I knew this was my son," Amanda Burke recalled.

Hong Zi Hua would become Jonathan Zi Hua Burke, or Zi for short.

The Burkes began preparing the way. Zi would share bunk beds with Abby at first and then move into Carter's room. He'd inherit Carter's old toys: the train set, books and Power Rangers.

The couple hoped all the lessons they'd tried to impart to the children — to love and serve others — had taken root.

On July 11, Bill, Amanda, Hannah and Abby boarded a plane to China, their "hearts bursting with excitement."

Four days later, they walked into the adoption center and their dream. The caregivers arrived carrying infants. Hong Zi Hua, hand in hand with one of them, led the pack.

Amanda knelt down to greet him.

Zi cried.

But within days the boy, who had studied English in preschool, was coming into his own. He ran around the hotel room screaming, poking his sisters Hannah and Abby, whatever it took to get a laugh.

"He was full of vinegar," said Amanda.

Although he cried at bedtime for his foster mom, Zi was showing affection toward the Burkes.

It wasn't unusual for him to run up and plant a kiss on one of their faces, throw his arms around them, or declare "Mommy, wo ai ni" — "I love you" in Mandarin Chinese.

The feeling was mutual. Hannah and Abby argued over who would get to carry Zi. Bill read to him. They taught him to sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" and "Old MacDonald Had a Farm."

"Zi is doing amazing," Amanda wrote in an e-mail from China on July 24. "No more tears or sadness. He's a Burke through and through."

Two days later, the family returned home, greeted at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport by son Carter and friends from Cornerstone who'd also adopted from China.

They held balloons and presents for Zi. Carter, meeting his new brother, scooped him up and hugged him.

"Hey, Zi," he said.

Dragons for Zi

A few weeks later, Amanda Burke was the first in the family to wake up Sunday morning, Aug. 26. She gently roused Zi, who was asleep on a pallet beside the Burkes' bed, and they went to the kitchen for breakfast.

It was 7:30 a.m. The family hustled into the bathroom and out, swooped into the kitchen for a bowl of cereal, and finally into the traditional Chinese outfits they'd purchased during their 12-day stay in the country.

For Zi, they chose dragon and phoenix designs on black silk with red trim. For Bill, a black jacket. And for Amanda, a red dress with plum blossoms.

They prayed that morning, thanking God for the opportunity to present their newest addition to their church family.

Three hours later, they arrived at Collins Hill High School, Cornerstone's temporary home. The service had barely gotten under way when the Rev. David Mathis summoned the Burkes to the front of the church.

As Zi held him close, Bill Burke began speaking. Say hello, he told his new son.

"Hello," Zi said quietly into the microphone.

"It's a privilege to be chosen to be this little boy's family," Bill said.

Before Bill could get another word out, Zi started plastering his daddy with kisses.

Bill Burke looked at his son and said, "I love you."

Unable to go on, father and son took their seats, and the church cried.


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2 comments:

Sophie's Mom said...

And I have tears in my eyes now. Wonderful!

Alex S said...

Yep, thought it was a great story. Thanks for stopping by!