Thoughts From an Adoptive Mom

Alex's Notes: Ran across this entry on CJ & Donna's Blog. Great couple, great family, great thoughts.

---------------------------------------

Friday, September 21, 2007
Incredible Educational Evening
Just thought while the evening was fresh on my mind, I would just do a massive brain dump of things I have learned, realized, or thought about this evening at 3rd Friday:

-Frannie is too cute
-Ally has adjusted well and fits in perfectly with her family
-I am very thankful to have such a wonderful adoption resource...3rd Friday
-Being a mom is a hard job
-Being a mom to an adopted daughter is a TOUGH job
-Being an adoptive mother is not for the faint of heart
-Shelby will one day probably tell me that she wishes she was with her China Mommy
-The best thing I should do to help Shelby adjust in life is just to shower her with love
-Adoptees tend to be "people pleasers" and eager to just "fit in"
-Shelby will one day be a teenager with issues
-Most of her "issues" will not be adoption related, but just teenager related
-Expect the issues!
-I need to read more books on adoption issues for the future
-Shelby's birth mother will always be a special part of our lives
-I should never let Shelby feel like she needs to protect me from her feelings about her birth mom
-I am very grateful for Shelby's birth mom and the incredible decision that she had to make
-The adoptees that spoke tonight were very brave for sharing their stories
-Birthdays will probably be the one day that Shelby will think of her birth mother the most
-I will never know her birth mom, for that I am sad
-I will never be able to explain to Shelby the true reason why her birth mom decided to put her up for adoption
-There will be al ot of tough questions that she will one day want an answer for
-Kids can be mean, although not always intentionally
-Shelby will be teased at school
-People will ask nosy questions and not always with good intentions
-Shelby should be the one to decide how much stranger's are told about HER story
-I will need to explain to Shelby that it is OK to have "her story"
-I will not always be with Shelby to protect her from other people's comments
-Shelby will need to feel loved and accepted no matter how she behaves or what she says
-Not all adoptees want to be immersed in their culture and heritage activities
-I should listen to Shelby and let her lead the direction in which she wants to go regarding her being involved in Chinese activities
-I need to "baby" Shelby as long as I can or she will let me when she comes home
-Shelby's birth mom will always have a bond with her that I will never have
-Shelby is the only one who has been able to hear and feel her birth mom's heart from the inside
-Shelby was born to be my daughter, from the minute she was conceived
-She was not an accident, she is my chosen daughter
-I am very lucky to have been chosen by Him for this incredible journey!

CJ & Donna's Blog