Group supports families with cross-racial adoptions

By BRENDA SCHORY - bschory@nwnewsgroup.com


When an adoptive child does not look like the rest of the family, it can be an avenue to discuss international adoption.

Or it can be an opportunity for people to be rude: They stare or make comments because they don’t know any better.

“They do look different,” said Mary Noble, who, with her husband Joseph, have a biological son and adopted a son and daughter from Guatemala.

“But I don’t feel my children have been treated differently because people here are open-minded and more accepting,” Noble said. “If we get stares, I do not notice. I see them as my children; I do not see them as my Guatemalan children.”

Michelle Irwin of Geneva said realizes that her Chinese-born daughter, Genevieve, will attract some attention.

“We just feel very lucky we live in what seems - so far - an open community in the Tri-Cities area,” Irwin said. “People seem more curious and interested than disdainful or bigoted.”

Life is complicated enough when families are genetically related, says Juli Dunsing, an adoptive mother to three biracial children. When children are from various ethnic backgrounds, a family can develop layers of complexity, she said.

“It’s conspicuous when your family does not all look alike,” Dunsing said.

To address those issues, she began Crossing the Color Line, a discussion group which meets once a month in northwest suburban Libertyville where she lives. It draws adoptive families from all over, including Kane and McHenry counties.

“It’s hard not to look like your parents,” she said. “Unless you are living it, you do not realize the people out there who say rude things and difficulties with school and fitting in. What seems to benefit our kids and our families the most is connecting with each other so their kids do not think they’re the only ones out there.”

Dunsing said the group offers both a forum when children want to talk but also sponsors social and cultural events.

“Adoption and race and not looking like your family is one spoke in the wheel of your life,” she said. “It’s part of who you are, but not all of you.”

Their next meeting is 7 to 9 p.m. Sept. 12 at the First Presbyterian Church, 219 W. Maple Ave., Libertyville.

Crossing the Color Line is one of several discussion groups sponsored by Adoptive Families Today, a support group for adoptive parents and their families. The group is based in Barrington, but serves parents and families throughout the area.