International adoptive families share experiences

By Christina M. Mitchell/staff
cmitchell@newsleader.com

HARRISONBURG —The clicking sound of the bamboo sticks hitting the floor keeps time as 8-year-old Abby Lachance jumps.

Her long black pigtail and colorful beaded necklace bounce as she moves to the beat, two short jumps and then a slight pause on the third.



The sticks move in an opposite rhythm to her feet, first apart, then together, as Abby bounces in and out of their wooden boundaries.

Then a second girl half Abby's size joins in, and the beat slows a bit as the younger girl learns the steps. The two hold hands and jump together, like near-twins in their pink and red silk pajamas — special outfits for this special day.

The event, celebrated last Sunday at Mulenburg Lutheran Church in Harrisonburg, was held in honor of the Chinese New Year. It's the annual mini-gala for ValleyAdopt, a regional coalition of families who've adopted or are seeking to adopt children from outside the United States. Both Abby and her small friend were born in China but are growing up here in the Shenandoah Valley.

Part reunion and part support, the event is the largest of several that the group holds each year, chances for parents to get together, share stories and enjoy their children. For the kids, it's also an opportunity to interact with people who look like them — and who don't ask the awkward questions that the outside world sometimes does.

"When people would say, 'Is she yours' or 'Is that your real daughter?'" Kristan Lachance said. "It's just ignorance, and I know what they're asking."

"Part of doing an adoption is learning the terms that we use. I say, 'Do you mean where was she born?'"

Abby was born in China. She spent the first part of her life in an orphanage and then foster care before her mother found her. At the New Year celebration, she and the other children marked the site they were born on a large wall map. The map soon was dotted with neon Post-Its over China, Korea, Japan, Thailand, Russia and the United States.

"They used to call it your abandonment site," Lachance said of her daughter's first home. "Now they say her finding place ... I like that it's such a positive term."

Mother and daughter also celebrate "Gotcha Day" or the day Lachance first met Abby. The then-toddler cried at first, until her mother pulled out the exact replica of the blanket the little girl carried in her arms — the match to the one Lachance had mailed.

"It was absolutely beautiful, and it was immediate," friend Nina Siebens said of the bond between mother and daughter.

Siebens was Lachance's travel partner for the long trip to Beijing. The experience inspired Siebens to adopt a daughter of her own, a little girl from Thailand named Mali.

ValleyAdopt began about seven years ago with just a handful of mothers seeking to adopt children from China. The little group grew, however, and now includes nearly 100 members. Though the group's reach stretches from Winchester to Augusta County, families stay connected online through their Yahoo! Group, coordinating events several times a year.

"It's important for us that our children grow up with other families like ours, and learn something about their culture," said Diana Ferguson, one of ValleyAdopt's founding members.

The group's other purpose is to help other families go through the sometimes painfully long wait between filing adoption papers and picking up their child, Ferguson explained.

"When you're waiting, there's nobody else that knows what that wait is like, except for somebody else who's been there," she said.

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China-Babies Research