She reminds me of the most important thing

Jan Risher

Five years ago this weekend, my husband and I were in China meeting the newest member of our family. In adoption circles, our Saturday anniversary is called Gotcha Day. In honor of little Piper, our resident 5-year-old, we planned a party, invited friends and loved ones to celebrate with us.
Though we had nothing to do with the appropriateness of Piper's Gotcha Day, November happens to be Adoption Awareness Month. As an adoptive parent, I'll readily admit that I've learned a lot since expanding our family through the miracle of adoption.


I've learned from our daughter. I've learned from other adoptive parents. And, I've learned from other adopted children. But there's another essential and obvious, though often unrecognized, link in the adoption circle of love - the birth mother. In our case, she is the link we know the least about.

As her daughter, and mine, continues to grow into the amazing little human she is, I wonder and admire more and more about this woman - this mystery, I will never understand or know, but to whom I will always be grateful.
Piper wonders about her too.

She readily tells us that she misses her birth mother. She often talks about how she would like to visit her hometown and see her birth mother.

Strangely enough, a movie seems to have given Piper more peace about her situation than anything I've been able to tell her or explain. The movie is Prince of Egypt. It's the story of Moses. She had heard the Bible story long ago, but it's the movie and its music that resonate most with this little girl.

I began to recognize its impact on Piper after her repeated references to "my people."

Then came the questions - the questions she used to connect the dots between her story and Moses' story.

"Why did they put him in the basket, Mom?" she would ask.

"His mother knew he could have a better life with them, didn't she, Mom?" she would continue.

Moses' story has given Piper more consolation than I ever could on my own. She and I chatted about my writing this column. I asked her if there was anything she thought people ought to know about adoption.

"Babies are more important than other things," she said. "I just think you should love all your babies the most."

Then she did what she does best.

She said, "But I think you need to write about happy things in The Daily Advertiser."

And with that, she got off my lap and started singing a song she had composed on the spot.

Which led to dancing.

Which led to a full-blown performance and show, complete with bows and flourishes.

In short, she reminded me that although she and other internationally and domestically adopted children are representative of some of the world's major political, economic and social dilemmas, she is - first and foremost - just a kid.

A kid I happen to love with all my heart.

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China-Babies Research