International Adoption

By Jen Christensen

Celebrities like Angelina Jolie and Madonna have highlighted the need for adopting children overseas, but they're also making it look easy and somewhat glamorous. Many adoptions do end wonderfully, but the journey can be challenging.

Here's what couples really go through when they are called to adopt.

Jami and Clint Kaeb didn't plan on adopting.

Jami said, "I kind of wanted a sign. How do we know for sure we're supposed to adopt?" They already had two beautiful girls, but when they heard of the more than 140 million orphans in the world they opened their hearts.

Andy Lehman works for Life International, a non profit organization that gives matching grants and no interest loans to people looking to adopt overseas.

Andy said, "A lot of people don't know until the day the bills are due how it will be paid, but it works out."

International Adoption can cost between $15 to 30 thousand, but the cost isn't stopping families on a mission.

Andy said, "Adoption is becoming more normative. It creates momentum where hey, if other folks are doing it, then maybe that's something I could consider doing."

According to the Adoption Institute, international adoptions have more than doubled since the 1990's. They have gone from about 9,000 children in 1991 to around 19,000 in 2001.

Jami and Clint flew to Guatemala to meet the little boy they picked several months before they were set to take him home. The Kaebs planned on adopting a little boy that was 4 to 6 months old, but court delays changed that. Jami said, "Our attorney says it took 97 days in that last court, which should take 4 weeks if that. that was hard."

Jami was nervous she wouldn't recognize her son after only seeing him in pictures, but she was overwhelmed with emotion and felt a bond with him immediately when his foster mom brought him into the room. The little boy they had dreaming of became Hudson.

The Kaeb's spent five days with him in Guatemala before they had to hand him back to his foster mom and wait for the courts to let them take Hudson home.

Several months later, at 10 months old, Hudson became an American citizen. His parents flew back to Guatemala to pick him up. His sisters and tons of relatives and friends waited at the airport to greet him.

Jami said, "We were up late that night. The kids typically go to bed around 7:30. We were up until 10:30 that night." Clint said, "He scratched one of the girls and she was like that's O.K. Hudson. The next day it was over. She was like Hudson scratched me, but that night he could do no wrong."

Adding a family member is an adjustment no matter what, but when the child is adopted from another country there is even more planning.

Clint said, “You hear about these cases where the child is 7 years old their parents sat them down and said they're adopted. Wow! And they're hit with this big thing."

Jami and Clint are very open about their adoption. They video taped the entire process, Hudson will be able to see his foster mom Felipa and they have two pictures of his birth mom.

Jami said, "She (birth mom) basically wanted him to know she loves him and wanted a better life for him. So, I'm glad I know that. "

Life International, a company that helps families adopt internationally, gives these tips for adoptive parents:

*Learn a few simple phrases in the native language.

*Create a routine immediately.

*Join a play group with other families who have adopted children from the same country.

* Enjoy food and artifacts from the country.

Andy said, "It's important to highlight and emphasize the positive aspects of that country and make it part of that family."

Hudson is now one year old and is adjusting rather well to his new home. He is attached to his mom and is starting to pick up the English language.

The Kaebs have even joined an adoption pot luck group. Clint jokingly said, "Instead of a kid walking up and saying why do you look different than others in your family? It's why isn't there anyone in your family that looks different?"

Jami and Clint say there will be challenges ahead, but after 10 months of waiting it feels good to be a normal family, to finally be complete.

Jami said, "I tell them I love you three kids. I just get so excited that they're together. It's just is great to see them all home."

Some countries are easier to adopt from than others.

Right now, China sees the most adoptions, then Russia, and Guatemala. In the last few years, Ethiopia has seen a huge surge.

The average age of internationally adopted children is 18 months old.





China-Babies Research