Making Friends All Over the Place

Alex's Notes: All I have to say about this authors response to his readers is:



Added 10/25 @ 8:48AM PST: Just to clarify something, I did not write the emails or the responses in this article below. This is simply a copy and paste of the authors responses to people who have contacted him that were a bit disgusted with the original article. We do not condone or promote any opinion on the matter, we are just relaying the news right now.

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Heartless, disgusting, stupid and paid

October 23, 2007
Americans love their foreign-born orphans and hate me. Following is a small sample of the response to Sunday's column "Foreign orphans better than ours."

"That was the most heartless, disgusting article I have read in a long time."

Traci Carlson

It's not often a column of mine succeeds on so many levels.

"I have several friends that have tried and given up trying to adopt an American baby. Too much red tape and the birth mother seems to be always lurking around the corner with visitation rights or trying to get her baby back after she 'cleans up.'

Michael Tunney

Birth mothers lurking around street corners scare the heck out of me.

"I am an avid Southtown reader but was very disappointed by Sunday's article. ... As the mother of two Chinese-born daughters, your words came across as careless, flippant and hurtful and left me feeling disgusted on many levels. As my children keep me quite busy, I'll spare you my personal details of why I opted to 'go foreign.' I just would like you to know that my children are American (actually, I like to call them Chirish-American), and they are already productive citizens who will remain productive American citizens for their lifetime."

Erin Dryer

Chirish-Americans have an undeserved reputation for getting very high SAT scores while drunk.

"My family and I will be leaving this Thursday to meet and bring home our daughter from China. We have waited 21/2 years. We have paid a lot of money but not to 'buy' her. Most of the money has been spent on U.S. home studies, Department of Homeland Security background checks and fingerprinting (did you know in the U.S., fingerprints expire in one year?). We will thankfully and without reservation hand over $3,000 to the Chinese officials, which will go to the orphanage that provided her care for the first nine months of her life.

Cyndi

Everything's cheaper in China.

"Appalled! That is the only word I can use to describe this article. ... The author did not mention the risks associated with domestic adoption.

"He also does not consider that in some states, an adoptive parent can have that child removed up to six months after the adoption is final if one of the biological parents changes their mind.

"Instead of slamming parents that choose to adopt internationally, this author should slam the laws in this country..."

Lorraine Harbert

China obviously has better laws than the United States. Communism triumphs over democracy once again.

"My husband and I are not millionaires. In fact, we don't have much money at all. We just want to start a family, and the adoption process is the only way we can do that.

"We are adopting from China because that is where we feel God has led us. If you want to argue with Him, be my guest."

Vanessa Carroll

I do not argue with deities, although I would think conservative Christians would have enough clout to get Him to push American adoptions.

"Are you really that stupid? Do you know anything about the adoption process? I did not buy my child, and how dare you compare a child to a car. You an idiot."

William Mortimer

Yes. No. Cars are people, too. You grammar bad.

"Just to let you know, your article has been officially trashed by an international adoption blogger.

"My husband and I feel very strongly about adopting from the U.S. foster care system. We have adopted one child so far. Besides our desire to be parents, we wanted to improve life for at least one American child.

"As a citizen, taking care of my fellow Americans is a responsibility that's right up there with the right to vote and all that good stuff. It's just the right thing to do."

Fran Churchill

Yeah, well, what about all those mothers lurking on street corners?

"I'm speechless. Are you really that ignorant? Do people actually pay you to write such stupid stuff?"

Rina Speciale

I would never write such stupid stuff if I wasn't getting paid for it. I'm a capitalist.

"If we felt we were able to handle an older child, then there were plenty to pick from. Those that came with so much emotional and physical baggage that we just didn't feel we could do that to our other children."

Susan Mathews

Buying an older kid is like buying a used car. You don't know what you are getting, and their biological mothers are always lurking around the corner.

"For me the choice was simple. In China there is a one-child policy. Many Chinese decide not to keep their daughter in hopes of giving birth to a boy. A son many poor Chinese hope will take care of them in their senior years. China's fees are less expensive than many other countries. "

Amberlee

China sounds like it has everything about right.

Just a final point of clarification.

My column wasn't just about orphans, adoptions or China.

I was writing about America's general lack of care and education for its poorest, neediest children.

I believe babies born in this country should get every break possible, even if they get a bad break when they are born.

I guess that notion is so crazy it has almost no public support.

Phil Kadner can be reached at pkadner@dailysouthtown.com or (708) 633-6787.

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